I received the email below on Match.com from a man whose profile states that he is a GWM (gay white male) and says he's looking for a GWM, GAM (gay asian male) or GHM (gay hispanic male) for a serious monogamous relationship. His profile also states that he doesn't care about the "number of hairs on [my] chest or on my head or about the size of [my] equipment."
ummm...I'm not sure...but I think he must be having some gender identity issues...or maybe he's bisexual...because in the email, he seems to be looking for a woman.
Here's the email (name changed, of course):
**********************************
Hello....Pretty woman...
Hello Dear my eight wonder,lol.Where do i start from? Really it is disturbing to come on this dating site to see how much people appreciate love, but yet We have to go the extra mile to get this great status.
Forgive my manners, i am Geoffrey Specter, an engineer of international repute. I deal basically with oil plattforms ranging from Europe to middle east and far east asia. But really i am hanging the hit this year, i think after getting all the wealth in pursuit, i have come to realise that we are nothing without a partner, someone who would stand by me no matter the situation. A woman who i can say, she alone has the right to be womanly irritating to me,lol. A witch who would protect me like a lioness would do her cub,lol. and i can promise to protect her beyond all vices. A woman who tells me, honey, you can do it,. no matter what i want to do. I really worked hard the past 12 yrs to get this height.
I have seen faces of women on this site, many of whom have been taken for granted , many of whom are not being reciprocated, but i have come with a good news and a bad news, the good news is i came here to pick my woman to make happy , my eight wonder, my best friend, my co-pilot, but the bad news is that i have only one woman to do this for.lol.
I saw something in your face, something that made my heart pause to read you, something that tickles in the heart, could there be love at first sight? maybe we could find that out,lol. You can pls write to me at my personal mail as i may be taking my profile off to avoid identity theft soon. My personal mail is geoffreyspecter @ h o t m a i l . c o m Take out the spaces to reveal the true email) i can access that anywhere cos I will not be hear for too long. I'm talking about fate here when feelings are so powerful it's as if some force beyond your control is guiding you to some one who can make you happy beyond your wildest dreams.
Your new friend.
Geoffrey Specter
****************************
I really couldn't make up this stuff if I tried.
Honestly...I think it may be time for me to just a cat and embrace the "spinster librarian" life!!
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Third time is not a charm...
Tonight I had my third date with a man I think I'll call the "Angry Architect." I'd noticed on our first two dates that there seemed to be a slight undercurrent of "angry," but I can be wrong about such things and I didn't want to judge him until I was sure.
On our first date, drinks at a nice restaurant/bar near my school, he referred to his ex-wife as an "obnoxious witch." That's not very nice, but many men have less than perfect relationships with their former wives.
On our second date, he mentioned in passing that he "can raise [his] voice when angry." That gave me serious pause, but he has many redeeming qualities, and I'd never seen real evidence of that temper. So when he called for a third date, I agreed to meet him.
Tonight was our third date. I met him at his house - we were going to go to an arts festival downtown. When I got there, we both agreed that Atlanta was just too hot today for us to spend time outside voluntarily. Unfortunately, he met me at the door with his dog, Max. Max is a cute dog, but he hasn't been trained at all, and he jumped all over me...with the architect doing nothing to discourage him. Since I was wearing a very nice sundress, I was a little annoyed. When we walked his dog in the neighborhood a few minutes later, two of his female neighbors seemed equally annoyed when the architect let Max jump all over them, too. Responsible pet training, anyone?
We watched a funny movie, a pleasant enough experience, and then we drove to a nearby restaurant for dinner, taking separate cars since I was going to leave for home from the restaurant.
Since we went to a Mexican restaurant, he ordered Dos Equis to drink (a Mexican beer.) I've never had beer, and I'm unlikely to start now. It has no appeal for me whatsoever. (I'd shared this fact with the architect at least twice on our previous dates.)
The architect poured his beer in a chilled glass, topping it with lime, and said, "Here, try this. It's not your average beer."
I said, "Oh, no thanks. I'll stick with my water."
He pressed, "Oh, come on. This is a Mexican restaurant and this is Mexican beer. You should try it."
I said, "No, really. I wouldn't care for any. But thanks."
And then I saw it...the flash of temper...it was just in his eyes and in his slight frown. But it was there. He was now the Angry Architect.
A few minutes later, a small group of people who appeared to be actors walked out of the restaurant and walked past our table on the patio. They were dressed as pirates, and the two women wore midriff-baring tops. Neither woman had the body-type that would make that a good fashion choice.
Rather than avert his eyes, the Angry Architect openly stared at them, saying loudly, "That's just disgusting. Look at all of that fat rolling out of the top of their pants. They should be ashamed of letting their bodies look like that and making us all look at it." Fortunately, the pirates were involved in a loud and boisterous conversation, so none of them heard the Angry Architect.
But I heard him.
Check, please.
There'll be no fourth date. I explained to the Angry Architect that we are just too different. I'm a happy librarian. And a Happy Librarian can't be happy with an Angry Architect!
Thus ends another chapter in the saga of the Lively Librarian Looking for Love.
P.S. Oh yes...and he mentioned at dinner that he "hates to read." Perfect!
On our first date, drinks at a nice restaurant/bar near my school, he referred to his ex-wife as an "obnoxious witch." That's not very nice, but many men have less than perfect relationships with their former wives.
On our second date, he mentioned in passing that he "can raise [his] voice when angry." That gave me serious pause, but he has many redeeming qualities, and I'd never seen real evidence of that temper. So when he called for a third date, I agreed to meet him.
Tonight was our third date. I met him at his house - we were going to go to an arts festival downtown. When I got there, we both agreed that Atlanta was just too hot today for us to spend time outside voluntarily. Unfortunately, he met me at the door with his dog, Max. Max is a cute dog, but he hasn't been trained at all, and he jumped all over me...with the architect doing nothing to discourage him. Since I was wearing a very nice sundress, I was a little annoyed. When we walked his dog in the neighborhood a few minutes later, two of his female neighbors seemed equally annoyed when the architect let Max jump all over them, too. Responsible pet training, anyone?
We watched a funny movie, a pleasant enough experience, and then we drove to a nearby restaurant for dinner, taking separate cars since I was going to leave for home from the restaurant.
Since we went to a Mexican restaurant, he ordered Dos Equis to drink (a Mexican beer.) I've never had beer, and I'm unlikely to start now. It has no appeal for me whatsoever. (I'd shared this fact with the architect at least twice on our previous dates.)
The architect poured his beer in a chilled glass, topping it with lime, and said, "Here, try this. It's not your average beer."
I said, "Oh, no thanks. I'll stick with my water."
He pressed, "Oh, come on. This is a Mexican restaurant and this is Mexican beer. You should try it."
I said, "No, really. I wouldn't care for any. But thanks."
And then I saw it...the flash of temper...it was just in his eyes and in his slight frown. But it was there. He was now the Angry Architect.
A few minutes later, a small group of people who appeared to be actors walked out of the restaurant and walked past our table on the patio. They were dressed as pirates, and the two women wore midriff-baring tops. Neither woman had the body-type that would make that a good fashion choice.
Rather than avert his eyes, the Angry Architect openly stared at them, saying loudly, "That's just disgusting. Look at all of that fat rolling out of the top of their pants. They should be ashamed of letting their bodies look like that and making us all look at it." Fortunately, the pirates were involved in a loud and boisterous conversation, so none of them heard the Angry Architect.
But I heard him.
Check, please.
There'll be no fourth date. I explained to the Angry Architect that we are just too different. I'm a happy librarian. And a Happy Librarian can't be happy with an Angry Architect!
Thus ends another chapter in the saga of the Lively Librarian Looking for Love.
P.S. Oh yes...and he mentioned at dinner that he "hates to read." Perfect!
Monday, May 30, 2011
Who are you, again?
Friday was a beautiful day, and I had planned to have lunch with a man I was excited to meet. His name is "Matt" (I'm sticking with the plan to keep the first initial the same but change the name of the guys I meet.)
Matt is movie star good-looking - half Asian, half Caucasian. He has primary custody of his three daughters, ages 6, 11, and 15. He'd talked all week about getting them ready to head down to their mom's house in Florida for the summer, and he seemed genuinely sad to think about being without them for 6 weeks. What a great sign - a devoted dad!
Matt works for a major corporation, and he survived their major downsizing - clearly a valued employee!
My standard google/facebook/myspace/linkdin checks didn't reveal anything about which I needed to be concerned. And he's been divorced about 6 years - not too long and not too short. Whew - no red flags!
We met at the restaurant, and we had a very nice lunch. It was a little bit of extra work to keep the conversation going...he seemed a little shy, so I had to ask a lot of questions. All in all, though, it was a good time together, and as we said goodbye, he asked if we could see each other again soon. I told him that would be great, and said I'd look forward to hearing from him. (No goodbye kiss - we were in the middle of a restaurant parking lot at 2 pm.)
Less than 30 minutes later, around 2:25 pm, I was in my car and my phone rang. I was delighted to see his name on the screen, and I answered, "Well, hello!" (How exciting...he couldn't even wait 30 minutes to talk to me again!)
He said, "Hi! How are you? Having a good day?" (How cute...he's pretending we haven't spoken today!)
I replied, "I'm having a great day! I just had a lunch with a very handsome, really nice man!" (I'll play along...and compliments are good, right?)
He responded, "Well, that's nice. I didn't know you were off of work today. I thought maybe you might still be at school."
Huh? Is he still pretending? Or is he having a senior moment - forgetting that we just had lunch together?
He continued, "I just went to my daughter's honors ceremony at her school. She got Straight A's except for one B for the whole school year."
I reminded him, gently, "Oh, that's right...I remember you mentioning that at lunch."
Silence. Crickets chirping. No reply from Mr. Handsome.
And then it hit me...he had no idea who he was talking to...!!!
"Matt," I chided, "I don't know who you think you had lunch with...but that was me.
"And I'm not sure who you think you're talking with now...but it's me."
"And the woman you had lunch with and the woman you're talking to right now...well, neither one of us wants to see you again. So please don't call either one of us again!"
Geez. Glad I made such a memorable impression on Mr. Handsome!! I wasn't sure whether to laugh or to cry. I decided to laugh, calling a couple of friends to giggle about my latest dating misadventure.
To his credit, Mr. Handsome texted about an hour later to apologize. Seems he'd been talking to "another teacher" all week and he thought he'd called her instead of me. Said he'd "pushed the wrong call button and like something from a sitcom, like a fool started talking right away! O the perfidity [sic] of men."
I replied, "Thanks for explaining. Good luck with your search...maybe the other teacher is the one for you."
Cause it sure isn't me, now is it?
Thus ends another chapter in the dating life of the Lively Librarian Looking for Love.
Matt is movie star good-looking - half Asian, half Caucasian. He has primary custody of his three daughters, ages 6, 11, and 15. He'd talked all week about getting them ready to head down to their mom's house in Florida for the summer, and he seemed genuinely sad to think about being without them for 6 weeks. What a great sign - a devoted dad!
Matt works for a major corporation, and he survived their major downsizing - clearly a valued employee!
My standard google/facebook/myspace/linkdin checks didn't reveal anything about which I needed to be concerned. And he's been divorced about 6 years - not too long and not too short. Whew - no red flags!
We met at the restaurant, and we had a very nice lunch. It was a little bit of extra work to keep the conversation going...he seemed a little shy, so I had to ask a lot of questions. All in all, though, it was a good time together, and as we said goodbye, he asked if we could see each other again soon. I told him that would be great, and said I'd look forward to hearing from him. (No goodbye kiss - we were in the middle of a restaurant parking lot at 2 pm.)
Less than 30 minutes later, around 2:25 pm, I was in my car and my phone rang. I was delighted to see his name on the screen, and I answered, "Well, hello!" (How exciting...he couldn't even wait 30 minutes to talk to me again!)
He said, "Hi! How are you? Having a good day?" (How cute...he's pretending we haven't spoken today!)
I replied, "I'm having a great day! I just had a lunch with a very handsome, really nice man!" (I'll play along...and compliments are good, right?)
He responded, "Well, that's nice. I didn't know you were off of work today. I thought maybe you might still be at school."
Huh? Is he still pretending? Or is he having a senior moment - forgetting that we just had lunch together?
He continued, "I just went to my daughter's honors ceremony at her school. She got Straight A's except for one B for the whole school year."
I reminded him, gently, "Oh, that's right...I remember you mentioning that at lunch."
Silence. Crickets chirping. No reply from Mr. Handsome.
And then it hit me...he had no idea who he was talking to...!!!
"Matt," I chided, "I don't know who you think you had lunch with...but that was me.
"And I'm not sure who you think you're talking with now...but it's me."
"And the woman you had lunch with and the woman you're talking to right now...well, neither one of us wants to see you again. So please don't call either one of us again!"
Geez. Glad I made such a memorable impression on Mr. Handsome!! I wasn't sure whether to laugh or to cry. I decided to laugh, calling a couple of friends to giggle about my latest dating misadventure.
To his credit, Mr. Handsome texted about an hour later to apologize. Seems he'd been talking to "another teacher" all week and he thought he'd called her instead of me. Said he'd "pushed the wrong call button and like something from a sitcom, like a fool started talking right away! O the perfidity [sic] of men."
I replied, "Thanks for explaining. Good luck with your search...maybe the other teacher is the one for you."
Cause it sure isn't me, now is it?
Thus ends another chapter in the dating life of the Lively Librarian Looking for Love.
Ok, fine...I'll start a blog.
After having been married for 21 years, this year has been my first year as a single woman since I married my ex-husband in 1989. I've been dating...a lot. And many of the stories I've told my friends at school have gotten the response, "Oh my gosh...are you writing all of this down?" Several people have told me that I needed to blog about my experiences as a 47-year-old woman attempting to navigate life as as single person. I'm certainly having my share of dating adventures. I guess I'll share some of them here.
So here I am with today's chapter in the dating life of relatively intelligent, reasonably attractive, single woman who happens to be a school librarian.
I got a call from "Sean" last night. (I think what I'll do is change the names to protect the innocent, but keep the first initial the same so I can sort of keep track of who these guys are.) We'd emailed back and forth a couple of times this week, and we'd looked at one another's profiles on Match.com a few times. I'd emailed him my phone number, and we finally chatted last night about 11 pm. (I'll save the reason it was so late until another time.)
We had a great talk. He's smart - graduate degree from a college I can't remember. He's attractive - pictures show a 50ish guy, fit, dark hair and mustache/goatee, 5' 10ish. He's successful - owns his own marketing company and sent me a link to his company website...very impressive. He's been divorced a reasonable amount of time - about 4 years. A Google search for his name revealed no "U.S. vs. Sean" cases in his past, and his LinkedIn/Facebook/MySpace all seem to sync with who he represents himself to be.
We made plans to meet for dinner tonight at 7 at a place in Kennesaw that he goes to a lot - his "favorite place," he said.
This morning, he sent me an email with an attachment of about 20 pictures. I tried to open the pics on my Blackberry, but only the first two would open. My Mac wouldn't open them either, so I didn't get a chance to look at them until I came in to work this afternoon.
When I got to work, I opened the pictures and began to scroll through them. There were some pictures of his very handsome son and his beautiful daughter in law. There were pictures of his adorable grandchildren - twins.
And then came picture #10. It was a picture of Sean in his Halloween costume. He'd mentioned it to me last night - he'd gone dressed as a priest. I've seen priest and nun costumes on Halloween forever, and lots of derivations of those costumes (chainsaw priest, pregnant nun, etc.) Sean's costume was different, though. There was a stuffed figure of a small boy - like a scarecrow without the straw. The stuffed figure was wearing jeans, tennis shoes, a long-sleeved shirt, and a baseball hat turned backwards.
And Sean had attached this small boy to his priest costume in such a way that it appeared the small boy was performing fellatio on Sean. Sean was grinning, and he had his hand on the boy's head.
I became sick to my stomach looking at that picture.
I sent him an email, telling him that I'd just been able to open the pictures and that I just wouldn't be able to meet him. I said, "I'm sorry...I'm not a stick in the mud, and I know you meant it to be funny. But I just can't find the humor in it. Again I'm so sorry, but I guess we're just too different and I won't be able to meet you."
Sigh.
Another chapter in the dating life of the Lively Librarian Looking for Love.
So here I am with today's chapter in the dating life of relatively intelligent, reasonably attractive, single woman who happens to be a school librarian.
I got a call from "Sean" last night. (I think what I'll do is change the names to protect the innocent, but keep the first initial the same so I can sort of keep track of who these guys are.) We'd emailed back and forth a couple of times this week, and we'd looked at one another's profiles on Match.com a few times. I'd emailed him my phone number, and we finally chatted last night about 11 pm. (I'll save the reason it was so late until another time.)
We had a great talk. He's smart - graduate degree from a college I can't remember. He's attractive - pictures show a 50ish guy, fit, dark hair and mustache/goatee, 5' 10ish. He's successful - owns his own marketing company and sent me a link to his company website...very impressive. He's been divorced a reasonable amount of time - about 4 years. A Google search for his name revealed no "U.S. vs. Sean" cases in his past, and his LinkedIn/Facebook/MySpace all seem to sync with who he represents himself to be.
We made plans to meet for dinner tonight at 7 at a place in Kennesaw that he goes to a lot - his "favorite place," he said.
This morning, he sent me an email with an attachment of about 20 pictures. I tried to open the pics on my Blackberry, but only the first two would open. My Mac wouldn't open them either, so I didn't get a chance to look at them until I came in to work this afternoon.
When I got to work, I opened the pictures and began to scroll through them. There were some pictures of his very handsome son and his beautiful daughter in law. There were pictures of his adorable grandchildren - twins.
And then came picture #10. It was a picture of Sean in his Halloween costume. He'd mentioned it to me last night - he'd gone dressed as a priest. I've seen priest and nun costumes on Halloween forever, and lots of derivations of those costumes (chainsaw priest, pregnant nun, etc.) Sean's costume was different, though. There was a stuffed figure of a small boy - like a scarecrow without the straw. The stuffed figure was wearing jeans, tennis shoes, a long-sleeved shirt, and a baseball hat turned backwards.
And Sean had attached this small boy to his priest costume in such a way that it appeared the small boy was performing fellatio on Sean. Sean was grinning, and he had his hand on the boy's head.
I became sick to my stomach looking at that picture.
I sent him an email, telling him that I'd just been able to open the pictures and that I just wouldn't be able to meet him. I said, "I'm sorry...I'm not a stick in the mud, and I know you meant it to be funny. But I just can't find the humor in it. Again I'm so sorry, but I guess we're just too different and I won't be able to meet you."
Sigh.
Another chapter in the dating life of the Lively Librarian Looking for Love.
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